If there's a type of game that really pushes all my wrong buttons, its those games that are defined by the gaming industry, ergo the gaming media upon whose wisdom we rely on: the system sellers. You know; assassin's creed, mass effect, of course i pause to think of a ps3 system seller, because currently the ps3 does not have one, and hell may freeze over before that happens! But really regardless of the system, whether your a sony, micro-bollocks or a nintendo fan-boy, the truth is system sellers themselves are largely a con, designed to indoctrinate us into buying generally over-hyped, incomplete or rushed products that unless you are a retard, you know always leave you feeling incomplete, and more importantly, fucked off to high heaven!
Bioshock is just such a game, hailed as an action/r.p.g. hybrid in its early description, was clearly taking the piss in this regard and i can't say i noticed any elements that you would classify as r.p.g. Unless of course you count vainly buidling up powers in the vain twatting hope it will make the game have any kind of depth beyond a superficial f.p.s. Which is what Bioshock is people! Ok, you go onto virtually any review website, and next to bioshock you will see perfect scores, i mean if there's a 10 in their scoring system, it'll get it: and if there's a feature on games of the year/century/millennium, don't bother to look, bioshock annilhilates all competition, sorry to spoil it for fans of countdown articles!
Bioshock, if you want to know what its about, get the box and read the back cover you lazy bastard, make you own mind up, you dont need the entire plot regurgitated by ign or gamespot. They only give away the plot to show off the fact they've played the game before you, fuck them. Sadly we have a game whose emphasis on atmosphere is negated by structure of the f.p.s. genre, i mean how are you supposed to settle into a game with an atmosphere more suited to a resident evil search and explore pace, rather than an art-deco version of halo. The splicer freako's re-spawn at ridiculous rate, making 'i-don't-know' the ACTUAL act of killing the twats completely redundant. It would'nt matter so much if the weapon upgrade and reloading system wasn't such a sadistic little shite: often i found myself scrambling to find enough ammo for even 3 shots, so fucking stingy is the reward for killing these bastards. Let's not forget the bits of material you pick up in order to create different types of ammo, or medkits and other incidental supplies that the game taunts you into needing, like waving a bottle of whisky under an alcoholic's nose!
Then, i musn't forget the fact that even though by injecting adam into your blood-stream, and becoming a genetically enhanced super-human, it still takes a small life-time for the protagonist to RELOAD THE FUCKING GUN. Even the smallest weapon he seems to want to disassemble just to put, literally, a couple of bullets into: heaven fucking help you with heavy weapons such as the grenade launcher or the mighty crossbow, yes readers that was the funniest. Oh how i laughed at the irony, as i screamed "WHY DON'T YOU RELOAD THE WEAPON YOU USELESS FUCKING TWAT"! whilst fending off the re-spawning freako's for the up-teenth time, but i was having so much fun, how could i possibly get annoyed? The game's setting is also deceptively large, often you will see beautiful underwater vistas from the windows, and there is a powerful illusion of depth to this city, but you never really get to visit any of it, the game is only confined to about 10 quite small levels, if that. It just feels longer due to the constant too-ing and fro-ing. I'll finish with a mention to one of the most praised aspects: the story. Problem is the most interesting part of the plot is the back-story told through recordings by characters, few of which you ever get to meet, and with whom in larger roles would only enrich the game. In fact, there is actually very little going on, since you've arrived in a dead city after the event, and you are merely a glorified gofer, literally running from point a to point b.
If you REALLY must play this game, don't give 2k games the satisfaction of paying full, or even, half price for what is a one-trick pony. Rent it, since there is so little variety in gameplay to warrant a repeat run, its a bit like going to see a hollywood blockbuster, worth a watch for the experience, just to check out the hype, then forget all about it!
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